Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
