I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
