I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
