I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
