Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
