Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
