I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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