So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
how drunk are you?
Several
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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