My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
