in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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