ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
