Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize