all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
