Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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