I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
How does one acquire holy water?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
