So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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