Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
