i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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