And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
