Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
