HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
