who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize