Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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