I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
