The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
