Your tits are I can't wait for
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
