How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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