What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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