I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
