Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
