I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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