I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
