That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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