Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
