bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
