Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
