elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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