I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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