how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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