I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
