you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
