I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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