On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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