he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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