I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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