please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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