Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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