I'm laying in your front yard are you home
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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