How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize
