when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
