I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
