We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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