Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I've blown a few things in my day
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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