Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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