The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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