he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
