no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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