just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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