I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
