dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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