Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
