i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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