oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
