I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I didn't notice because vodka
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize