I'm gonna have a badass scar
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
