Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
