Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
