i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
