Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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