My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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