dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Will exercising make me less horny?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
