just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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